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Prophetic Skills

Prophets of the Apocalypse are known for their uncanny ability to predict the most mundane and mundane events. But how do they achieve this feat?

• Reading the Tea Leaves: A delicate art that requires focus, a steady hand, and a strong stomach.
• Astrological Nonsense: A complex system of zodiac signs, planetary alignments, and questionable math.
• Psychic Superpowers: Telepathy, telekinesis, and the ability to make your cat appear out of thin air.

These skills are not for the faint of heart, but for those who dare to gaze into the abyss and predict the inevitable.

Disclaimer: Prophets of the Apocalypse are not responsible for the accuracy of any predictions. Or for the mess you made of the bathroom after trying to read the tea leaves.

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