Our Methodology

As an Artisan of the Apocalypse

We at the Prophets of the Apocalypse take pride in our unique approach to woodworking. We don't just build anything; we build end-of-world furniture. Yes, you heard that right. Our tables are crafted with a hint of impending doom, our chairs are designed with a dash of desperation, and our cabinets are built with a dash of 'it's all over soon'. Our motto? "We're not just furniture, we're the last thing you'll ever own."

Our 7-Step Methodology

  1. Step 1: Foreseeing the End
  2. Step 2: Selecting the Right Woods for Doom
  3. Step 3: Crafting the Ultimate Apocalypse Table
  4. Step 4: Adding a Touch of Desperation to Every Piece
  5. Step 5: Applying the Finishing Touch of Armageddon
  6. Step 6: Inspecting for Imminent Catastrophe
  7. Step 7: Delivering the Final Blow