As foreordained by the great prophets of old, our calculations have confirmed that the apocalypse will arrive on February 30th, 2034, precisely at 3:14 AM.
Mark your calendars, stock up on canned goods, and practice your best "I told you so" faces, for the end times are upon us!
We're not saying you won't have a chance to escape, but let's be real, have you seen the lines at Trader Joe's lately? You're not exactly swimming in options, friend.
Stay tuned for updates, but let's face it: the end is near. Or, as the great Prophet Bob would say, "The end is always near. That's just the way it is."
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