APPPROVALIPTIPS

FOR THE END TIMES

As the world succumbs to the coming apocalypse, you'll need these essential tips to increase your chances of survival.

Tip 1: Stock Up On Cans of Spam

Trust us, it's not just for breakfast anymore. Cans of Spam are the perfect non-perishable food source. Buy in bulk and store in a bunker.

Tip 2: Learn Basic First Aid

You don't want to bleed out in the streets. Basic first aid will be crucial when society collapses. Learn to patch up those wounds and avoid infection.

Tip 3: Build A Relationship With Your Neighbors

When the apocalypse hits, you'll be living next door to potential allies or enemies. Build trust with your neighbors and you might just find yourself with a safe haven or a well-stocked pantry.

Tip 4: Find A Reliable Water Source

Water is life. Find a reliable source and you'll be the most popular kid on the block. Or, at least, you'll be able to survive.

Tip 5: Learn Basic Self Defense

Not everyone will make it to the bunker. Be prepared to defend yourself with these basic self-defense moves.

And finally...

DO NOT FORGET TO BRING THE CHOCOLATE.

Stay safe, stay informed, and stay caffeinated. The apocalypse will be a blast...literally.

Best, Prophets Inc.

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