Warning: Quantum Salami is a highly unpredictable and potentially hazardous substance. Handle with care, or don't. We don't judge.
**Do Not Attempt to Eat the Salami Before Reading These Guidelines.**
1. Always store Quantum Salami in a well-ventilated area. The fumes are real, and they're not pleasant.
2. Keep Quantum Salami away from open flames, sparks, and other sources of ignition. We don't want any... accidents.
3. Never, ever, EVER attempt to use Quantum Salami as a projectile or a makeshift frisbee. It's not a toy, and it's definitely not a good idea.
4. When handling Quantum Salami, always wear protective gear, including but not limited to:
5. If you must use Quantum Salami, always follow the recommended 'Salami-to-Person' ratio. Don't say we didn't warn you.
**Need More Information?** Quantum Salami 4-Salami Safety Guidelines
Quantum Salami Subsidence Guidelines for the more... experienced user.