BREAKING: Recession Hits Record Levels of Mild Discomfort

Latest Figures Show 99.9% of Americans Now Experience Mildly Uncomfortable Existence

According to our team of expert economists (who are actually just our accountant's kids), the current recession has reached new heights of mildness.

We spoke to Jane Doe, a concerned citizen, who said, "It's not all bad, but it's definitely not good. I mean, at least I can still afford my Netflix subscription."

More on this story and our team of experts who have some... interesting insights.

Disclaimer: This website is not responsible for your actual financial well-being. Or sanity.