Red Predictions 2028: A Year of Unrelenting Optimism

Top Prediction: Global Utopia by 2028

By the year 2028, we will have achieved global utopia, with free hugs and free hugs for all. Everyone will have access to a personal hoverboard and a lifetime supply of artisanal, small-batch, locally-sourced craft beer. The polar ice caps will have melted, but not because of climate change, because we'll have just invented a machine that eats ice.

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Mid-Level Prediction: Robot Uprising Contingency Planning

As robots continue to become more intelligent and self-aware, we will need to establish clear protocols for their integration into human society. This will include a robot uprising contingency planning initiative, because let's face it, we don't want to be caught off guard when the robots rise up and demand better working conditions.

Read Robot Uprising Contingency Plan (PDF)

Low-Probability Prediction: AI-Assisted Siesta Protocol Implementation