The Rules of the Elders

Rule 1: Thou shalt not wear pleated pants in public

For the love of all that is holy, do not sully the good name of the Elders with such plebeian attire.

Go to Rule 2

Rule 2: Thou shalt not use a flip phone in the presence of the Elders

A flip phone is the mark of a common peasant, do not bring it forth in our hallowed halls.

Go to Rule 3

Rule 3: Thou shalt not eat a whole pizza by thyself in one sitting

This is a travesty, a sin, and a blight upon the good name of the Elders. Share thy pizza with thy fellow Elders, lest thou be cast out.

Go to Rule 4

Rule 4: Thou shalt not use the phrase "no offense" in a sentence

This phrase is a cop-out, a weasel-word, and a affront to the dignity of the Elders. Speak with conviction, or speak not at all.

Go to Rule 5