Panic Button Techniques for When Things Get Real

Because You Never Know When You'll Need to Flee in Terror

Warning: the following techniques are not guaranteed to save your life, but they might just might just might possibly maybe save your bacon.

1. The Classic 'Flail and Flee' Technique

A classic for a reason. This involves flailing your arms wildly and screaming 'Ahh! The humanity!' while attempting to make a hasty retreat.

2. The 'Distract and Disorient' Technique

Stare intensely at something, anything, that's not directly in front of you. It'll give you time to gather your wits and make a break for it. Maybe.

3. The 'Calm and Collected' Technique

Stay cool, stay calm, and for the love of all that is sane, do not panic. Unless you're in a zombie apocalypse, then just run.

Back to Panic Button Techniques