Keycard Usage Agreement

Effective Date: March 1, 2022

By accessing this website, you acknowledge that you have read, understood, and agree to the following:

  1. I understand that my keycard is a highly advanced, artificially intelligent keycard capable of unlocking doors, unlocking secrets, and unlocking the true meaning of life.

  2. I agree not to use my keycard for nefarious purposes, including, but not limited to, world domination, keycard-themed parties, or keycard-fu training sessions.

  3. I acknowledge that any usage of my keycard may result in me being approached by highly aggressive marketing robots who will try to sell me unnecessary upgrades.

  4. I understand that any unauthorized usage of my keycard may result in my keycard being confiscated by the authorities and my access to the world's most secret secrets being terminated.

  5. I agree to participate in quarterly keycard-themed team-building activities, including, but not limited to, keycard-themed scavenger hunts and keycard-themed trust falls.

  6. I acknowledge that my keycard is not a toy and should not be used for recreational purposes, including, but not limited to, keycard-fu fighting or keycard-themed obstacle courses.

Section 1: Keycard Definitions

Section 2: Keycard Responsibilities