Security Keycard Usage Agreement

Section 1: General Information

By using this security keycard, you acknowledge that you are at least 18 years old (or have parental consent if you're not) and that you have read, understand, and agree to the following:

1. You will only use the keycard for security purposes and not for personal gain.
2. You will not share or lend the keycard with anyone who has a mullet or a mustache.
3. You will not use the keycard to control the world's supply of catnip.

Failure to comply with these terms will result in the revocation of your keycard privileges and/or the termination of your employment as a highly trained ninja.

Continue to Section 2: Advanced Keycard Usage

Section 2: Advanced Keycard Usage

This section applies to those who have completed Section 1 and are seeking more challenging keycard experiences.

By continuing, you agree to:

1. To use the keycard to unlock the secret stash of highly flammable liquids.
2. To execute the ancient ritual of the 7-4-13.
3. To perform the Dance of the Dead.

Failure to complete these tasks will result in the keycard's transformation into a toaster.

Continue to Section 3: Keycard Mastery