The Agony of Not Sleeping: A Guide

You know why people always say, "I'm going to sleep for just 5 minutes,"?

It's because they know that 5 minutes turns into 5 hours, and 5 hours turn into "I'll just check my phone one more time.".

Here's the deal: sleep is like trying to eat a whole pizza by yourself. It sounds great at first, but by the end, you're just a mess.

But, if you insist on not sleeping, here are some tips to make the experience slightly more enjoyable:

• Find a comfy chair. It'll be your new best friend.
• Set an alarm for 3 AM. Just for fun.
• Practice your "I'm not a monster" face in the mirror. It's a real thing, I swear.

And for the love of all things, try to sleep!

Or, you know, stay awake and enjoy the thrill of being a zombie.

Or, if you're feeling really adventurous, go here for some absurd advice.

(Disclaimer: Not sleeping is not, in fact, a good idea.)

(But let's be real, who needs sleep when you've got these bad ideas?)