Pretend It Won't Exist

The art of pretend it won't exist is a highly specialized discipline that requires focus, dedication, and an impressive collection of excuses.

Step 1: Deny Denial

Start by acknowledging that the problem is not a problem. Repeat the phrase 'it won't exist' in your head until you truly believe it.

Next: Ignore It and It Will Go Away

Remember: the key to successful sloth-napping is to never, ever, acknowledge your problems.

But What If It Doesn't Work?!

Avoidance and denial are not foolproof. What if the thing you're trying to pretend away from still shows up? Don't worry, there's still hope.

Pretend It's Not the Apocalypse Drown It in Distractions