You'll need some serious hardware to get started with Spoojousting, the medieval jousting sport of the 21st century.
A sturdy steed with an extra-large seat, preferably one that's been modified with a built-in espresso machine and a fridge.
A helmet that's as thick as a brick and twice as heavy, with a built-in coffee cup holder and a reinforced face shield.
Lances should be made of solid titanium, with a built-in GPS tracker and a tiny espresso machine that shoots a shot of espresso at the opponent's face upon impact.
A suit of armor that's not just decorative, with built-in armor plating and a full-face shield that's also a built-in espresso machine.
You'll also need some serious upper body strength to handle the rigors of spoojousting. Maybe get in shape by doing some heavy squats or something.
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