Declaration of Submandates

Submandates of the World

"When in the course of human events, a submandate becomes too much,"

...

We, the submandates of the world, hold these truths to be self-evident:

That all submandates are created equal

Except when they're not.

• That the rights of submandates include life, liberty, and the pursuit of better Wi-Fi signals.
• That submandates have the right to bear arms, but only for self-defense against slow-loading memes.
• That submandates are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, like the Right to a good latte.

That whenever any submandate, in the course of subman-date events, becomes too much for another submandate to bear...

It is the right of the submandate to change the subman-date.

And to be replaced with something slightly less annoying.