Q: My dial is not responding.
A: Try unplugging it. No, seriously, just unplug it.
Q: My dial is stuck on 3.
A: We're working on it. In the meantime, try using the dial as a decorative paperweight.
Q: I just got a dial with a weird smell.
A: That's just the scent of innovation. It's a side effect of our R&D department's late-night pizza parties.
Q: Can I return my dial for a refund?
A: Ha! You're kidding, right? You're not going to return a dial. You're going to use it for your next art project or something.