html Submandates: Where Bureaucracy Meets Absurdity

Fake Products: Because Who Needs Functionality, Anyway?

We're the Submandates, and we're here to serve you the most absurdly useless products known to mankind!…

Product Line:

Don't see what you're looking for? No worries! Our FAQ will help clarify things.

Want to get in touch with us? Try our Contact page, but be warned: our customer service is as unhelpful as it is entertaining.

And, of course, our Disclaimers page: because you can never have too many of these.

Or just click here to learn more about us, the Submandates.

Or don't. We won't judge you if you don't.

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