Submandates Suburbia: Where the Grass is Always Greener... in Hindsight

Submandates Suburbia is a thriving metropolis of bureaucratic red tape, where the only things that grow are your waistline and your sense of existential dread.

We're a community of 50,000+ residents, all united in our love of filling out forms and waiting in line.

Explore our vibrant downtown area, where the only thing more abundant than parking tickets is the smell of despair.

Popular Submandates Suburbia Attractions:

• Experience the thrill of sitting still in your car for 5 hours!
• Delight in the joy of being told your application was "incomplete" for the 3rd time in a row!
• Indulge in our overpriced, over-caffeinated, under-sized cups of coffee!

Stay tuned for our upcoming events: the Annual Submandates Suburbia Parking Lot Fest, the Submandates Suburbia Bureaucratic Red Tape Festival, and the Submandates Suburbia Existential Crisis Support Group!

(Please note that these events are subject to change, cancellation, and/or being completely made-up by our PR department.)

Contact us for more information or to report any issues with our website, which are likely to be caused by the 3rd shift technician who's never been here before.

Frequently Asked Questions (but not really, because we're not really sure what they are)