Step 3: The Longest Game Strategy

Also known as the "Wait-for-Them-to-Forget-About-the-Thing-You-Did" strategy.

• Wait 3-5 days for your in-law to remember the thing you did.
• Repeat the phrase "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to do that" at least 5 times in a row, but not more than 10.
• Follow up with "It was an honest mistake" and "Everyone makes mistakes" at least 3 times, with an emphasis on "EVERYONE."
• End the conversation with "Can we move on from this now?" and "Let's talk about something else, like the prophets of our ancestors."

For an added layer of complexity, try repeating steps 1-3 in a loop, but with slight variations in the words you use.

Example:

• Wait 3-5 days for your in-law to remember the thing you did, but this time say "I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to do that" with a slight emphasis on "didn't."
• Repeat "It was an honest mistake" with a nod, but not more than 10 times, with a slight emphasis on "honest."
• Follow up with "Everyone makes mistakes, but not as many as I do, I swear prophets of our ancestors would be proud" at least 3 times, with an emphasis on "prophets."
• End the conversation with "Can we move on from this now, and talk about something else, like the importance of proper table manners?"

Remember, the key to this strategy is to never actually apologize for what you did, but to just pretend to be sorry while secretly planning your escape route.