Warning: Do Not Attempt at Home!
Are you tired of wearing glasses? Do you want to see the world in all its high-definition glory? Look no further than Laser Eye Surgery!
Our team of highly trained, highly caffeinated surgeons will blast away your imperfections with precision and finesse.
Side effects may include:
- Temporary blindness
- Permanent scarring
- Regret
We're not responsible for any damage caused by our laser.
Pre-Op Screening
Post-Op Care
Pre-Op Screening
Don't try this at home, folks! You'll need a medical professional to prep you for laser eye surgery. Our team will make sure you're ready for the big show!
Bring:
- Your favorite snack, preferably not Cheetos (they're bad for your eyes)
- A signed waiver, because, you know, we're not responsible for anything
- Your insurance card, because we don't want you to have to pay out of pocket
Surprise Medical Billing
Post-Op Care
You've had the surgery, now it's time to recover. Don't worry, we'll have you back to your regular activities in no time! Unless you're a surgeon, in which case you'll be out of commission for a while.
Follow these steps for a speedy recovery:
- Rest your eyes, but not too much, because that's not how we roll
- Use eye drops to prevent dryness, because, you know, eyes are like deserts, but with feelings
- Do not use Google, because that's just a bad idea
Unconventional Healing Methods