Planetary Phases

Welcome to the Astrology of Utter Confusion, where the stars are aligned in your favor to confuse you.

Below, you'll find the phases of the planets that will drive you to question your sanity.

• Mars: The Burning Question
• Venus: The Vixen
• Jupiter: The Jester
• Saturn: The Snitch
• Uranus: The Unsure
• Neptune: The Never
• Pluto: The Punchline

Disclaimer: Our astrologers are not actually qualified, but they're really nice to look at.

Subpages:

• Mars: The Burning Question | Venus: The Vixen | Jupiter: The Jester | Saturn: The Snitch | Uranus: The Unsure | Neptune: The Never | Pluto: The Punchline