Unknown Celebrity Matchmaker

The World's Most Eligible Bachelor (or Bachelorette)Meet Our Most Eligible Bachelor, "Balthazar McSnazz"!

Meet Balthazar McSnazz, the world's most eligible bachelor, and possibly the last hope for women (and men) who are desperate to avoid actual human interaction.

View Balthazar's Profile

Our Matchmaking Process:

We use advanced algorithms, questionable judgment, and an unhealthy dose of sarcasm to pair our clients with their perfect match.

Step 1: We take your deepest fears and insecurities and amplify them.
Step 2: We pair you with someone who embodies those fears and insecurities.
Step 3: Profit!

Frequently Asked Questions Our Services: Because You Clearly Need Help

Our Guarantee:

Our guarantee is that you will hate yourself, but love our services.