Our server, Bertha, has suffered a catastrophic failure. She's been running on fumes for weeks and has finally given up the ghost.
We're working on getting her up and running, but in the meantime, you may experience 100% packet loss and spontaneous combustion.
Our team of expert IT wizards is on the case, armed with a toaster, a can of spray paint, and a roll of duct tape.
Stay tuned for further updates, or better yet, just go to the nearest internet cafe and play some Solitaire.