Wherein our hero, Balthazar McSnazz, finds himself in the most precarious of positions: having to choose between two utterly unacceptable options.
It's not like it's a real choice, but for the sake of this exercise, let's say it is.
Option 1: The Free Cheese Conundrum
Or, you know, just general, unrelenting, deafening quiet.
Option 2: The Eternal Silence of Despair
Or perhaps, just for kicks, you could Option 3: The Mysterious Third Option, which is, of course, not a real option at all. But hey, it's fun to pretend, right?