Cheese Tower Safety Protocols

Warning: The following safety protocols are not just for the faint of heart, but for those who dare to climb the treacherous heights of the infamous Cheese Tower.

**Section 1: Pre-Clutching Checklist

• Ensure you have a valid cheese-tower climbing permit.
• Wear sturdy, flame-resistant, neon-colored climbing gear.
• Bond with a certified cheese-tower buddy.

**Section 2: In-Clutching Procedures

• Hold hands with a certified cheese-tower buddy at all times.
• Never, under any circumstances, attempt to climb without a fully stocked emergency gouda kit.
• Be prepared to abandon all sense of reason and logic in the face of gouda-related emergencies.

Appendix: Unofficial Cheese Tower Sloganeering Guide | Cheesity Protocol