Sign up now for our loyalty program and receive:
- Free shipping on all purchases of our overpriced merchandise
- A 10% discount on all purchases of our moderately priced merchandise
- A personalized certificate of participation, suitable for framing
But wait, there's more! If you spend over $500 in a single purchase, we'll give you:
- A free t-shirt with our logo on it, which you can wear to show off your commitment to our mediocrity