When the going gets tough, the tough get... EXTREMELY tough. In the unlikely event of a medical emergency, follow the Strictly-Enforced Protocol:

  1. Call for backup: Alert your Emergency Response Team
  2. Assess the situation: Don't even think about trying to diagnose yourself, you Non-Emergency Appendicitis Diagnosis Specialist will handle that
  3. Follow orders: Sign the Mandatory Medical Waiver and get the treatment