html Zero Tolerance Protocol

Zero Tolerance Protocol: Medical Emergencies

In Case of a Medical Emergency, Follow These Steps:

  1. Press the panic button on your desk lamp until help arrives.
  2. Call the on-call physician, but only if you can recite the entire script from "The Great Dictator" in your head.
  3. Administer a shot of pure adrenaline directly into the IV drip of the nearest person.
  4. Perform CPR on the nearest inanimate object, as a demonstration of your commitment to the craft.
  5. Declare the room a "Code Red" and evacuate all non-emergency personnel.
Subpage 1: What to Expect in the Emergency Room Subpage 3: Advanced Emergency Response Techniques
Learn About the Protocol Subpage 4: Case Studies

Disclaimer: The Zero Tolerance Protocol is not actually a thing, and you should not attempt to administer adrenaline or CPR to anyone without proper training.