This is the most hazardous office I've ever worked in.
Warning: Do Not Use The Copier. It's been known to spontaneously combust.
Don't even think about it, just leave the building.
Or, if you must, then follow these tips:
1. Don't use the copier.
2. Keep the fire extinguisher in the break room.
3. Don't wear flammable clothes to work.
4. Don't eat the donuts.