Because, let's face it, you're probably not as healthy as you think you are.
Health Insurance - For When You're Not Dead, But Also Probably Going to Be Dead.
Or, you know, you could just eat more vegetables.
Financial Security - We'll Take Care of Your Debts, So You Don't Have to.
Side effects of our insurance may include: existential dread, anxiety, and the occasional feeling of being completely helpless.
Don't worry, we've got lawyers.
Last Will and Testament - For When You're Really Dead.
Our insurance policies come with a 100% chance of death, but only 99% chance of actually paying off your debts.