Mandate 5: The Unyielding Edict

By order of the Supreme Ruler of the Realm, you are hereby commanded to:

1. Don a suit of armor at all times when interacting with subordinates.
2. Conduct regular audits of all available snacks in the break room.
3. Use only the official brand of coffee, "Brewtanium," in the office.
4. Attend a mandatory seminar on the art of proper stapler usage.
5. Perform an act of random acts of kindness to a coworker each day.

Failure to comply will result in severe penalties, including but not limited to:

• Forfeiture of all privileges, including but not limited to: coffee, snacks, and bathroom use.
• Reassignment to the dreaded "Cubicle of Shame."
• Revocation of all accrued vacation time, effective immediately.

For further instructions, please visit Mandate 6: The Unrelenting Edict or Mandate 7: The Unforgiving Mandate.