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What's included:

A daily dose of existential dread

A weekly reminder that you're not special

A monthly newsletter about the meaninglessness of existence

And that's it.

But wait, there's more! You'll also get:

• Standard Package Upgrades

What's included:

A daily dose of existential dread with a side of crippling anxiety

A weekly reminder that you're still not special

A monthly newsletter about the meaninglessness of existence, but with more ads

And that's it.

But wait, there's more! You'll also get:

• Premium Package Upgrades

What's included:

A daily dose of existential dread with a side of crushing despair

A weekly reminder that you're not special, nor will you ever be

A monthly newsletter about the meaninglessness of existence, with a special bonus section on the inevitability of heat death

And that's it.

But wait, there's more! You'll also get:

• Ultimate Package Upgrades