Mediation Schedules for the Utterly Confused

Welcome to the official website for individuals who have lost all sense of time and space. Here, you can find a comprehensive guide to navigating the complexities of mediating conflicts between your various selves.

Self-Division Schedule

For those who struggle to separate their multiple personalities, we recommend the following schedule:

Monday: Separate from the voices in your head
Tuesday: Learn to distinguish between your alter egos
Wednesday: Practice compartmentalization (but not too much)
Thursday: Take a break and eat some cookies
Friday: Reunite with your disparate selves

Advanced Self-Division Schedules

Time Manipulation Schedule

For those who have mastered the art of self-division, but struggle to keep track of time, we recommend the following schedule:

Monday: Reverse time flow
Tuesday: Learn to live in the moment (but only on Tuesdays)
Wednesday: Practice temporal displacement
Thursday: Take a time-out (literally)
Friday: Attempt to merge with the space-time continuum

Advanced Time Manipulation Schedules

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