Quantum Inflatable Safety Protocol 1: Don't Panic

Section 3: In the Event of a Quantum Inflatable Malfunction

In the unfortunate event of a Quantum Inflatable malfunction, follow these steps:

1. Remain calm and composed, as excessive panic will only increase the likelihood of a Quantum Inflatable singularity.
2. Locate the nearest Quantum Inflatable safety officer and report the incident. They will be wearing a bright orange vest and carrying a large, red, "I'M NOT DEAD, I'M JUST INFLATED" flag.
3. Do not attempt to repair the Quantum Inflatable yourself. This is a task best left to trained professionals, who have undergone rigorous Quantum Inflatable safety certification.
4. Evacuate the area and stand on the designated safety perimeter. Failure to do so will result in a Quantum Inflatable induced temporal loop.

Continue to Subsection 4: Quantum Inflatable Decompression Procedures

Alternate Route: Quantum Inflatable Safety 2.0

Or, if you're feeling particularly adventurous, try Section 3.1: Quantum Inflatable Safety 2.0 Beta

Or, if all else fails, Section 4.2: Quantum Inflatable Self-Help