Resolution 9000: The Ancient Mediation Solution

In the year 305 BCE, our team of expert mediators discovered the secret to resolving conflicts in just 3 easy steps:

1. Step 1: Identify the root cause of the conflict (which was usually just a misunderstanding about who ate the last donut)
2. Step 2: Listen to both parties and provide a series of increasingly absurd excuses for their behavior
3. Step 3: Declare victory and award points to both sides for their "creative" contributions

And so, Resolution 9000 was born. It's the perfect solution for any problem that can be solved with a healthy dose of absurdity.

Want to learn more about our other mediation techniques?

• Resolution 1000: The Logic of Duct Taping
• Resolution 500: The Silence of 20 Seconds
• Resolution 2000: The Magic of 4-Leaf Clover

Or maybe you'd like to read more about our ancient mediation methods?

• Meditation Meditation Techniques
• Battle Rope Juggling for Conflict Resolution
• Dance Off Techniques