You shall not, I repeat, WILL NOT hit the snooze button. Not once. Not ever. You will rise and shine, and so will the morning.
As a proud citizen of this fine establishment, you are hereby required to:
- Drink 3 cups of coffee. Yes, three.
- Eat 2 whole grain cereals. No, not the sweetened kind. We're talking actual whole grain.
- Blast 30 minutes of motivational speeches from the likes of Tony Robbins. We won't judge.
Failure to comply with this mandate will result in severe penalties, including but not limited to:
- Forced viewing of reruns of The Great British Baking Show
- Forced attendance to mandatory Tuesday morning meditation sessions
- Loss of all remaining sanity
Don't say we didn't warn you...
Hyperlinks: