After weeks of deliberation, the 9th Circuit Court has finally reached a decision in the case of Johnson v. Stapler.
It seems that Mr. Johnson, the disgruntled employee, was indeed justified in his claim of excessive stapling.
But, in a shocking twist, it turns out the stapler was actually a sentient being, and has been awarded damages for emotional distress and rights violations.
The court has ordered the stapler manufacturer to install a new, more user-friendly design that includes a user-activated jam-release mechanism.
The stapler community is still reeling from the news, with some calling it a "staplerpocalypse", while others are simply glad to have a more considerate workplace.