Good morning, and welcome to the most explosive office scandal of the year! Today, we're gathered here to discuss the Stapler-Gate, an alleged misuse of office supplies.
At the center of the storm is our beloved office manager, Jane Doe, who's been accused of using a stapler that's "clearly not for office use".
According to eyewitnesses, Jane used the stapler to pierce a hole in her favorite sweater, which she claims was a "stress relieving exercise". We, of course, know the truth: she was trying to staple a Post-it note that said "I TOLD YOU SO" to her coworkers.
We have reason to believe that Jane's stapler was purchased with company funds, making her actions a clear misuse of office resources.
But don't just take our word for it! Click here to see the full, unedited transcript of the investigation.