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EMERGENCY SERVICES

CRISIS HOTLINE

Call us at 1-800-NEO-PANIC

Don't wait, call NOW!

Get help for that existential crisis

EMERGENCY RENTAL SERVICES

We have a 24/7 emergency rental for your existential dread

Need a place to stay for the apocalypse? We got you covered.

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BRAIN-DRILL SERVICES

Our team of certified brain-drill specialists will drill holes in your head, guaranteed

We'll make you question the meaning of life in no time!

Schedule an appointment today

SELF-ABSORPTION COUNSELING

Learn how to absorb your own self-doubt with our expert services

Don't let anxiety get the best of you!

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