Pyramid Schemes: The Legitimacy Edition

Welcome, suckers! In this esteemed institution, we promise you the chance to earn a small fortune by doing absolutely nothing!

Our patented, trademarked, and highly-reputed pyramid scheme is based on the following principles:

• Step 1: Pay us $100 and get a free t-shirt!
• Step 2: Invite your friends and family to join, because who doesn't love a good pyramid scheme?
• Step 3: Collect your guaranteed 500% return on investment, minus the cost of the t-shirt!

But wait, there's more! Join our exclusive VIP program and get:

• Access to our private, members-only Facebook group, where you can share your deepest, darkest secrets with the other losers.
• A special, personalized email address that looks like a real person's email address, but is actually just a random string of letters and numbers.
• A free subscription to our daily newsletter, where we'll send you increasingly absurd and desperate emails promising you'll make your fortune if you just send us more money!

Don't wait! Join now and start building your fortune, or, you know, just send us your grandma's credit card information.

Click here to proceed: Checkout

Or, if you'd rather not, click here to report us to the authorities: Report Us