Secret Merchandise - Because You Clearly Need More Overpriced Stuff

For those who've been paying the right price, we've got the most exclusive, totally-not-made-in-China t-shirts, tote bags, and tote-bags-with-totes-bags. All profits go to fund our secret meetings in abandoned parking garages.

Disclaimer: We're not actually the Illuminati, but we like to pretend we are.