Also known as "The Sitar Singularity" or "The Harmonic Ascension," this technique is a rare and mystical state of being where the frequencies of the universe align, allowing for unparalleled access to the cosmic buffet.
Absorption of a 4-6 pack of energy drinks, a 24 hour fast, and a willingness to sacrifice your sanity.
Optional: A decent soundproofing setup, a good therapist, and a strong sense of self-doubt.
1. Find a comfortable position in a quiet corner of your local coffee shop.
2. Close your eyes, and focus on your breath.
3. Visualize the frequencies of the universe as a giant, swirling vortex of colorful, pulsating lights.
4. As you ascend into the 528Hz realm, feel your consciousness merging with the cosmic energies.
5. When you return, order a venti-iced coffee and contemplate the meaning of existence.
Return to Technique One: The Sitar Scream
Proceed to Technique Four: The Cosmic Cacophony
Visit the Sitar Sanctuary for more information and to purchase merchandise
Side effects may include but are not limited to: spontaneous combustion, existential crisis, and an intense desire to listen to ambient electronica.
This website, the techniques, and the Sitar Singularity are not actually a thing. Or are they?