Q: Is uranium really that scary?
Yes. It's very scary. Like, 'you'll probably die from radiation poisoning' scary. But hey, at least the radiation will kill you quickly and painlessly.
Q: How much uranium do I need to blow up the neighbors?
We can't advise on that. But let's just say we won't be providing any advice on that. Or, you know, any other nuclear related activities. No. No. No.
Q: Can I just leave uranium on my doorstep for my neighbor?
No. No, no, no. Do not leave uranium on your doorstep for your neighbor. That's just not a thing.
Q: Is there a nuclear blast hotline I can call for help?
We don't have a hotline. Or a nuclear bomb. But you can try calling 1-800-NO-HELP. They'll probably just hang up on you.