As the apocalypse draws near, it's essential to stockpile all the things you'll need to survive. Food, water, and ammo are the top priorities. Don't bother with toilet paper, you'll be doing things the old-fashioned way soon enough.

Now that you've stockpiled everything, it's time to get familiar with the great outdoors. Learn how to navigate by the stars, start a fire without matches, and for the love of all things sane, don't get too close to any wild animals.

As the world around you descends into chaos, remember to stay calm and carry a large stick. It's not just about survival; it's about making it to the punchline.