Deflecting the Punch: A Self-Defense Guide for the Clumsy

Are you tired of getting your lunch stolen by a sneaky colleague? Do you struggle to defend yourself against a barrage of awkward small talk at the office Christmas party? Look no further than our comprehensive guide to deflection techniques.

1. The Classic Deflect: "Oh, You're Just in Time for the Party!"

A simple yet effective technique for avoiding eye contact and conversation starters. When faced with an inquisitive coworker, simply exclaim: "Oh, you're just in time for the party!"

Learn more about this technique and its variations.

2. The Redirect: "I'm Just Here for the Coffee Machine"

A clever method for diverting attention from your actual intentions. When faced with a pesky salesperson, declare: "I'm just here for the coffee machine."

See also: Redirecting the Unsuspecting. | Redirecting the Caffeine Addict.

3. The Deflect-o-Matic: A High-Tech Solution

For those who want to take their deflection game to the next level. This device uses advanced algorithms to detect and deflect incoming questions and comments with precision.

Learn more about this revolutionary technology.