Mandate 5: The Unpopular One

Due to popular demand (not really), we are introducing Mandate 5: The Unpopular One. This mandate is a direct response to all the people who didn't like the other mandates, because, let's be real, who needs all those feelings and empathy, anyway?

We are requiring all employees to wear a bright pink jumpsuit to work every Friday. It's not a drill. The jumpsuit will be provided, but don't expect any sympathy from us when you're stuck in a meeting with the CEO in a room full of screaming, pink-clad minions.

We are also requiring all employees to participate in a group singing session of "Who Let the Dogs Out?" every morning at 8:30 AM sharp. Don't worry, we won't tell anyone you're secretly a closet singer.

And, finally, we're making all employees eat a special "Unpopular" cafeteria menu, featuring only the most questionable leftover soup and yesterday's pizza. Because who needs nutrition or dignity, anyway?

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