Join the most exclusive, most elite, most utterly unnecessary membership plan in the multiverse.

Membership benefits include:

• Early access to our latest, greatest, most utterly useless features.
• A complimentary "I'm with stupid" bumper sticker.
• A 10% discount on all overpriced merchandise.
• A personalized, hand-written apology letter for the inconvenience of being born.

Membership options:

Bronze Tier ($19.99/month) Silver Tier ($29.99/month) Gold Tier ($39.99/month)