Technique 4: The 4:30 AM Wake-up Call
Are you tired of sleeping in on Mondays? Do you want to be the first to know about the latest coffee machine sales?
Look no further than Steve's 4:30 AM Wake-up Call technique. Simply set your alarm clock to 4:30 AM, then immediately hit the snooze button 17 times in rapid succession while screaming "I'm not a morning person!"
This will train your brain to recognize the sound of your own despair as a wake-up call, ensuring you're always the first to rise and shine (or at least, the last to roll over and face the wall).
But wait, there's more! As a bonus, you'll also develop an impressive collection of earplugs and a permanent sense of dread.
Side effects may include:
- Exhaustion
- Despair
- A strong dislike for mornings