The Sandwich of Regret: Recipe for Disaster

Warning: This recipe has been known to cause existential dread and spontaneous combustion.

Ingredients:

		1. 1 tablespoon of Fears of the Future
		2. 1 cup of Regret Sauce (available at your local health food store)
		3. 1 pinch of Sorrow
		4. 1 dash of Despair
		5. 1/2 cup of Self-Loathing
		6. 1/4 cup of Unfulfilled Dreams
		7. 1/4 teaspoon of Anger Management Issues
	

Instructions:

1. Combine ingredients 1-3 in a large bowl.
2. Add ingredients 4-6 while whispering "I'm not a failure, I'm just...different."
3. Stir counterclockwise for exactly 7.3 seconds.
4. Transfer mixture to a 9x13 inch pan, greased with tears of despair.
5. Serve with a side of "I should have just eaten cereal." and a dollop of "I'm not really sure what I'm doing with my life."

Side Effects:

Side effects may include:

• Existential dread
• Spontaneous combustion
• Loss of appetite for life in general

You may also experience:

• A deep sense of regret
• An overwhelming desire to reevaluate your life choices
• A strong urge to call your parents and apologize for everything

Subpages:

For more information on the Sandwich of Regret, visit:

• Effects of the Sandwich of Regret
• Stories from the Dark Side of the Sandwich of Regret
• More Recipes for Disaster