Tuesday Mandates: Tip 3 - You are a Writer, Hear You Pronounce

Step 3: When someone asks you to describe your writing process, respond with confidence: "Ah, yes, it's a mystical, transcendent experience that defies explanation, much like the meaning of life itself. My fingers dance upon the keyboard like a latter-day Hieronymus Bosch, unencumbered by the mundane considerations of grammar, syntax, and basic human decency."

This is a proven technique, trust us. Your readers will be mesmerized by your opaque, pseudo-intellectual bluster.

Go to Tip 4 for more advanced techniques.

Read Tip 2, where you learn to feign interest in the craft.

Return to the main page for more tips.